New Beginnings



Spring has definitely sprung! I don't remember ever having such an early warm season.  The lilacs have been in full bloom for over a week now.  The tulips and daffodils are dropping their beautiful petals.  The grass has been mowed a couple of times now.  And it's just April 4th.

I'm not complaining, mind you.  Well, maybe a little about the mowing part, but it's wonderful to have this warm spring weather so early in the year!  The amazing thing to me is, though, why is it that so many people are only finding the down side to this? 

"This means our summer will be especially long and that means higher utility bills with all the air conditioning."  "Well, I certainly hope that this doesn't mean we'll have winter start in August."  "I had to drag out my summer clothes already."

I LOVE spring!  The earth awakens from its long slumber and the browns and grays are now an entire spectrum of beautiful colors.  The birds and squirrels are 'home' again and sing and chirp outside my window to sound my morning alarm.  And, OK, I'm sneezing, which means we're definitely into springtime, but it will pass.

New beginnings.  How exciting they are!  I recently rearranged my office.  I simply turned my desk ninety degrees to face the window.  I love to rearrange my furniture, at home and at the office.  It's like having an entirely new place.  A new beginning...change the appearance of what is inside the four walls and you change much more.  You change what's inside, you change your perspective, as well.

A little shift in how you see things, can open all kinds of new doors.  I enjoy these shifts.  I actually thrive in the midst of them. Finding new and challenging ways of doing and seeing things is, I believe, what life if all about.  It's where we learn the lessons that God has set out for us.

The comfortable is nice.  It's secure.  It's sure.  And, in the winters of my life, I need that security.  But spring is where I grow.  It's where I learn. 

I'm ever so grateful for each of the seasons and each of the years of my life.  My son asked me recently when I thought I would decide to stop or at least slow down the seasons of my life. "I mean, you are getting older, Mom."  I didn't even need to think about my response. 

When my heart stops beating and my life leaves this earthly body to move to whatever is next in God's heaven, it will be the best spring ever and I can hardly wait for what comes after that!

 To every thing there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time
to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; Ecclesiastes 3:1,2

The Wait is Over, The Real Work Begins



In my last post I wrote about waiting...waiting for answers, waiting for results, endless waiting. 

We have gotten an answer.  It will change some pretty significant things and, I believe, it will be for the better.  But, it is change, and we all know about that.  As a person who thrives on change, I find this reluctance, this--in my father's words, bullheadedness--fascinating. 

I work in an organization that regularly rotates the leaders.  Generally, every four to six years the leaders are moved to a different facility.  The purpose of this is to keep everyone and everything new and fresh.  And, for the most part, I believe that it works.  Everyone in this organization knows that this is the process, but, remarkably, when it happens, people are thrown into chaos and confusion. Their very lives become shaken and shattered when, what they knew would happen, happens.  And we begin to see sides of people that we didn't know existed.

In a previous work life I worked with children who had been abused.  It was always remarkable to me that in a lot of those cases, the kids would have gone back immediately to the abusive parent if allowed to do so.  Yes, they knew the pain and the conflict and, yes, it was horrible, but it was known.  They knew what to expect.  They understood the rules of the game.

This phenomena doesn't change simply because we are older.  Take a father or mother-figure, a leader, away and, even when it's been really, really bad, it's better than what we can't yet see.  And when we're afraid about the next step in front of us, if we have no real center of being, we tend to lash out at those we believe responsible for forcing us into this position.  "I wasn't happy or content where I was, but YOU made me change!  It's all your fault!  I don't care if this will be better in a little while.  I was OK."

We're satisfied with OK and all right when we could have fabulous, tremendous, and fantastic.  God didn't create us for OK or all right.  God created each one of us for excellence and, sometimes, it takes a shake-up to push us toward that excellence.  It is scary.  It is shaky ground.  But it is GOOD!  It's our destiny, if we so choose. 

Can we change these folks who are lashing out and crying out in their anger and their pain?  If only that were possible!  I heard someone say recently that when you make a change, it's very important to also tell people what is NOT changing.  I agree with that.  I absolutely do.  But the other folks also have to be willing to hear that.  We're not there yet.  The answer was too recent.  But those of us who embrace change will kindly and gently continue to remind them that we are all right, that life will go on-mostly as we know it to be, and that, yes, there will be some changes, but we will love each other through them.

Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

2 Corinthians 5:17

We're Still Waiting!



For almost a year now I've been doing my job and working to educate people about how to do their work in better ways.  When I first came to this place of employment, there was no direction, no focus.  The faithful few worked hard as busy little beavers to keep everything running as smoothly as possible while the majority of the workers sat on the sidelines only partially paying any attention at all.  After all, they didn't need to do anything.   A few faithful friends would see that it was all cared for.

It didn't matter that many had been shoved aside.  And it didn't matter that people were leaving this place in large numbers every week.  What mattered was maintaining the status quo.  After all, it had worked this way for more than twelve years.  'Leave it alone,' was the message I received, loud and clear.

Just because you've done it that way for a long time does not mean it is good.  Nor does it mean that it continues to work that way.  With a few of those faithful leaders we began to make changes.  Nothing drastic or dramatic; subtle, small changes.  But in an environment like this, even small changes can cause big ripples.  Those who have been in charge of this drama become shaken and insecure when even the smallest things change.  They feel pushed .... and they push back. 

No amount of conversation, no amount of mediation can help those that do not want to change, but the reality is that for an institution to remain viable and healthy, change must always be part of the plan.  In the past few weeks, these shaken leaders have begun to make some changes themselves, but I wonder if it is too little, too late.  Those visionaries from a year ago have moved on and it may well be that those who have struggled with all of this may be forced to find a comfort zone elsewhere. 

We'll have some answers in the next few weeks.  It is possible that those that held a vision may be disappointed and the changes may be fewer than expected.  It is just as possible that the work these visionaries have spent so much time on is about to bear fruit. Either way, there is much more work to be done.  Isn't that always the case?

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. 

Matthew 5:16        

The Winters of Your Life



I am in the midst of winter.  Living in Nebraska it's a given that February will be cold and snowy.  As they say, "It comes with the territory," literally.  The days are generally cloudy.  The wind blows incessantly and the storms are fierce.  A young friend is here visiting from the east coast. She was complaining last night about how cold it is.  Those of us from this area wore no coats, after all, it was nearly fifty degrees...a heat wave.  The sun was shining.  It was an exceptional day here.

Actually, we have been very fortunate this year.  There has been very little snow and the temperatures have not been nearly as cold as they could have been.  The storms have been few.  It has been a mild winter, an easy winter.

Isn't it amazing how our lives mirror the seasons?  This is definitely a winter in my life.  There are many changes taking place.  My son is struggling to create his independence. My finances are not what they once were.  While I love the work that I do, it does not compensate me as my previous job did.  A definite winter...

But during this winter, I have experienced some of the most remarkable signs of spring.  New friends have reached out to me in ways no one has ever done before.  They have made me feel understood and at home.  They have loved me when I didn't believe I was lovable. 

It is time for some things to pass.  I know, fulwell, that some of the 'old' season will not carry into the new and, in all honesty, I have struggled with that.  I'm not certain that I'm ready to turn loose of those things whose time has come.  I liked it the 'old' way.

But I'm also ready for the spring and its new beginnings.  I look forward to all the 'newness' to come.  You see, I know that God doesn't take something away, unless He's ready to replace it with something even better.  I know this, in my head. My heart will take a little while longer.

That's OK.  I've got some winter left.  Isn't that what the season is about...slowing down, hibernating for a little while, in preparation for new life?  Births are slow and painful.  But just look at what you've got when it's all over!  The rich colors, the deep textures, the vividness of new life!

So I'm trying to embrace this winter of my life.  I'm trying to focus on all the signs of spring that continue to come to me.  Spring is coming and it will be awesome!

In Christ we are a new creation! The old has gone, the new has come.

2 Corinthians 5:17



You've Got to Believe



Faith.  Believe.  Hope.

Three little words that carry so much weight.  I have been preaching these words over the past several months to friends and colleagues.  I have assured these good people that we just need to have faith, not in human beings but in our God, who will ultimately do what is right and good.  I have told them that we must believe that whatever happens, it will be what is best.  I have encouraged them to have hope in the days to come. 

It's not about them versus us or that side and this side.  There is only one side--God's side, whether we like it or not.  Whether we trust in Him or not, whatever His plans are...that will be. 

We human beings scurry around plotting and planning.  We gossip and say hurtful things.  We deliberately set out to make others 'pay' for their faults and weaknesses.  And in the process we wound not only those we set out to damage, but ourselves as well.  In fact, if we look deeply, we will find that the wounds to our own souls are far deeper and much harder to repair than anything we've done to others. 

What a sorry lot we are!  So ready to point fingers and place blame. 

Perhaps our time would be better spent focusing on God and His master plan...LOVE...our neighbors as ourselves.

Today I will do my best to make everything I do and say come from LOVE.  Today I will not wallow in my plans and my vengeance.  Today I will focus my eyes on the Lord and I will know that His plans are much bigger than anything I could possibly dream.  Today I will place all of it in His hands and know that I am being cared for, I do not need to worry.  Today I will be grateful.

And tomorrow I'll start over again.

Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.  

Matthew 7: 3-5       

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses



People are such surprising creatures, aren't they?  At our best we are generous, loving, kind, and the best this world has to offer.  At our worst we are hateful, deceitful, and just plain mean.  Given any day, we can be either of these (and anywhere in between).  For most of us, we strive to reach that pinnacle at which we don't have to think about being kind or generous.  It just becomes a part of who we are.  We are that being living as close to Christ-like as possible, but given the right circumstances we can become the most vile creatures on this earth. 


How easily we slip from one to the other!  If we feel threatened, in any way, we can turn on those closest to us in ways even we didn't know were possible. The threat doesn't need to be real.  As long as we perceive it as a real and viable danger, we become the worst of ourselves.


We have the best excuses for our behavior.  I heard some of them from one of my classes this week:  "Well, they hurt my friend." "I couldn't let them keep talking about me like that."  "That was mine and they took it."  "They hurt me."


Certainly it is a good thing to stand up for our friends and family when they are in need.  And we would all agree that defending yourself is a skill we should all practice.  But where is the line between caring for ourselves and our family (extended or otherwise) and becoming what we are accusing others of being?  Isn't a sign of maturity finding ourselves at our worst and making the necessary corrections? 


Our very humanness allows us to slide into behaviors that we would curse others for, without even being aware of it.  It happens to all of us.  But what makes the difference is how quickly we realize that we have crossed the line and what we do once we realize it.  I think the best we can be is always at our fingertips, ready to be accessed at any moment. 


We just have to see it and reach.    

If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?  But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.   

Luke 6:32, 35-36 NIV

Fabulous Friday





I work at a church so my work week begins on Sunday.  I love my Sunday mornings worshiping God and teaching my kids.  I look forward to it all week.  On Monday, it's time in my office to prepare for the activities of the week. Tuesday includes meetings and planning time with the various church committees.  Wednesday is just crazy with Bible studies and suppers and children's programs, scouts, and youth groups.  And Thursday is picking up from the night before and preparing for Sunday.

So, because I work on Sunday, my weekend begins on Friday.  Not a bad deal.  Most everyone is at work so the grocery store is less busy.  While everyone is in their office toiling away, I can take long walks with my dog or sit at home and read a good book. The freedom on my Friday is one that I treasure.  It feels a little bit like playing hooky---which I never did, of course.  Really, Mom!

These fabulous Fridays are my time to re-fill my bucket.  Why is that something that we always put off? I just found a short story about resigning my adulthood in favor of going back to being eight years old when the important things in life were games of tag, M&M's, lemonade stands and playing in the creek.  I'm just wondering why we have to resign from adulthood to do that.  From the time we are old enough to speak we want to be 'grown up.'  And then when we are grown up, we want to go back to being kids.

Why can't we be both?  I was telling some friends at dinner last night that I walk home from work most nights.  I choose to do this.  One wonderful night, after dark, I started home in the most beautiful snowstorm.  The flakes were enormous and the snow was falling so gently.  It was like walking in a great big snowglobe.  It was beautiful!

One lady, standing on her front porch, hollered at me, wondering if I'd noticed that it was snowing.  I assured her that I was well aware and how much I was enjoying it.  I'm certain she went inside her warm home and told her family about the crazy lady walking in the snow.  But I have this beautiful memory of  looking up at the sparkling, soft snow falling all around me.  Everything was so peaceful and still.  It was an experience that thrilled me to my very core.

Am I crazy?  Well, that certainly is one option.  Just ask my teenaged son.  I'm sure there are many days he would verify that.  I choose to think that I've just found a way to use every one of my senses to appreciate both, being an adult and a child.  I don't think we have to choose one over the other.  Choose the best of both and minimize all else. 

And, as the snow falls today, I think I'll take a walk!

This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalm 118:24

Too Many Lessons for Me



Did you ever have one of those weeks?  Nothing  bad happened.  Actually, in that regard, it was a good week.  But you keep getting the same message given to you over and over again.  Earlier this week I wrote about catching myself being less than I am.  It's not a pretty picture when you find yourself behaving in these very unbecoming ways.  You apologize to all involved.  You humble yourself to your friends in the hope that they will help keep you on the right path.  You think you're ready to move on and try again.  But everyday, in as many ways as possible, you are reminded again and again and again of what you did and may well be still doing. 

All week I have caught myself being critical and judgmental of another, and then doing exactly the same thing.  I shouldn't expect a co-worker to stop and visit with me after being gone a few days, if I don't stop what I'm doing and welcome him back.  I left work thinking critically of my friend and ready to be angry with him for his what he hadn't done when here I was doing the very thing I was criticizing him for.  In my short ride home, I became aware that I was pointing the finger at him when I should have been pointing at myself.

OK.  So I started the week with a lesson on my behavior and I ended it with the very same thing.  Each day, as I spent my time studying and in quiet, this message was given to me.   What are YOU doing that is better? 

And the answer, obviously, was nothing.  I was so ready to point the finger in his direction but I wasn't even looking at myself.  Oh, I thought I was.  I believed myself to be 'better' than him in these ways. But, as so often happens, God put a mirror in my every path and showed me that I had better 'take the log out of my own eye' before I throw sticks at someone else.

Wow!  What a week!  I've learned a lot and instead of feeling bad, I really feel so much better.  You see, I can't do anything about my friend and his behavior.  There is nothing I can do to remedy that situation, but there is a lot that I can do about my own.  In a time in my life when there are some big issues in which I have no control, THIS I can control.  THIS I can do something about.

And, who knows?  If I change my behaviors, if I change me, others around me just might change too.  Anyway, it's a start.  And I choose to do so, right now. 

Caught You!!!



Don't you just love it when you catch someone you really don't like doing something wrong?  You have the opportunity, either openly or alone, to gloat just a little bit -- OK, a lot -- about them and their misdeed and how you knew all along just how bad they were.  Life is really good for a little while.  And if you can catch them more than once, life is really good!

It even makes you feel a little superior to those you love when you find them in an indiscretion.  Come on now, admit it!  There's that little human part of you that says, "I knew I was just a little better than you."  It doesn't last very long and you only feel that way if the indiscretion is a minor infraction.  It's called being human. As much as we try not to, that old ego jumps right in and there you are!

And then there are those days that you find yourself doing things you neither believe in or intended to do.  But there it is.  Even as it's happening you think, 'Wait!  I shouldn't be doing this!  I should stop this now!'  But you don't.  You let it continue and it bugs you the rest of the day.  You go home at night and sit down to relax and enjoy the evening ... and there it is again.  You've tried to shove it aside all day.  You've told yourself that it wasn't so bad, it was just a little thing.  But it's feeling bigger and bigger.

Then you just know.  You must acknowledge that you were wrong.  Remember the old Happy Days show where Ritchie teaches Fonzie how to say, "I was wrong?"  That word just won't come out of his mouth.  He tries and tries, but he is so accustomed to being cool, to being right, he just can't make the word come out. And then he says it, and not only does he feel better, but so does Ritchie.  And he  says it over and over again, because it makes him feel so good!

Well, that was me this week.  I didn't hit anyone.  I didn't slander anyone.  I just gossiped about an on-going situation in my life with an innocent bystander.  She had no part in anything that happened.  There was nothing she could do about any of it.  All I accomplished was to lessen another person in her eyes; someone she had thought rather highly of.  Someone who has not been unkind to my face but has been hateful behind my back.  My friend was obviously upset when I shared my 'information.'

And did it help me in any way to share it?  No.  Even at the time I was saying it, I knew I should stop.  And afterwards I felt worse.  I knew immediately it was wrong.  I had a sleepless night.  The next morning I faced my friends, who also shared in my indiscretion, and told them that I would be apologizing to our friend for my part in what we had done.  My friend was very gracious and accepted my apology.  She even told me that I had nothing to be sorry about.  But I did, and I know it.  I hope this is another lesson learned!

How easily we recognize when others err!  How quickly we point fingers and accuse!  And just as easily we are in the wrong.  Don't you just hate that!

Proverbs 18:8 – “The words of gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts.” 

Don't Hold On So Tight, It Hurts



There is a person in my life who is trying desperately to hold on to something.  He has worked for many years on this project and, for those of us outside of the picture, it is easily seen that the time for change has come.  But for him, he has grabbed hold of the known, fearful of the unknown, with a grip that is causing great pain to himself and others--real, physical pain as well as emotional pain. 

It has caused me to reflect on major changes in my own life.  Certainly I have  walked in his shoes, afraid of what might happen, holding on for dear life to what I knew, no matter how bad it was.  And just as certainly as it is happening now, if it's time for change it will happen, whether we fight it or not. No matter how tightly we hold on, there is very little that can stop it.  The divine plan will move us on whether we are ready or not, whether we want it or not.  It doesn't matter.

I guess what I hope I have learned is that fighting against the change is pointless; that we must all attempt to look at things through other's eyes as well as our own, for when we do,  we see truths that we are not always able to see by ourselves. And as we find these truths it becomes easier to relax and let the life changes happen. 

The amazing thing is that when we relax and let it all just flow, we are then filled with a calm and a peace that we have not known before.  It's still a little scary--this unknown, but it's easier because there are no battles, no wars, no 'hanging on.'  And even more amazing, there begins a new hope.

I wish for my friend a new hope.

Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, there will be a future, and your hope will not be cut off.

Proverbs 24:14

 

The Right Thing

There is a group of people that I know who have taken some bold steps to do the right thing.  These folks are courageous and strong in a way that amazes me.  They're not fighting a war with guns and weapons.  They're fighting a war of another kind.  It comes back to that 'right thing.' 

I work with young people.  I love it!  Their passion and enthusiasm is captivating.  They haven't yet learned to be fearful of unseen consequences.  They just dive into life and their love of it is contagious! 

I also work with adults.  I love it, too!  Their wisdom and courage is inspiring.  They understand, very well, that there will be consequences for their actions.  Some will be good and others will be not so good.  And they live their lives anyway.

The question has been addressed to me, several times over the past few weeks, by both groups, "How do you know what 'the right thing' is?" 

I wish I had a really good answer.  What I know is this: the right thing is usually not the easiest thing.  It's usually not about you, rather it will be focused on others.  Many times it's not your first choice, you'd rather do something else.  The right thing is complicated and messy and there is a great possibility that someone will be hurt in the process.

So why do the right thing? Obviously, many people don't.  It's just too hard.  But when you do, when you complete the process and reach your goal, the rewards are magnificent!  There are few words to describe the feeling you have inside, that only you can know.  You will feel grateful.  You will feel honored.  You will feel content and peaceful. 

And you'll feel able to take on the next challenge.  You'll do 'the right thing.'

Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause.  

Isaiah 1:17       

Do You Want to Make God Laugh?



A few years ago, I was the director of a non-profit organization.  I had been with this business for a long time and enjoyed it.  We provided educational and social service programs for children and families.  It was good work.  It was important work.  We touched a lot of families' lives and we made a difference; maybe a small difference, but we made a difference.

I always knew that when the time came for my son to graduate from high school I would move on to the next challenge, the next adventure.  I would move closer to home, to my parents and siblings.  Being a single mom, the only one I was responsible to was my son and he would be spreading his wings and flying all too soon.  I made my plans.  I was all ready.

But you know what they say about giving God a good laugh--just start making plans?  Well, He was laughing!  And about ten months before I was to implement my plan, I lost my job.  One of our biggest partners decided that it was no longer economically advisable to continue working together and, in a rather dramatic and hasty action, pulled all of his programs and his funding.  Faced with the options, which were few-given that we had no warning, the board of directors decided to close our business.  It was hard, but it was the right decision.

As prepared as I was for it all to happen in about a year, I was not prepared for the sudden way it was taken from me.  I was ready to do it on my terms, but to have a stranger step in and just take it, without even a discussion, was extremely difficult to take.  It, of course, caused a big ruckus in our community and there were hateful and nasty things said, on both sides. 

Now that it has been a few years, I can see that it all happened the way it was intended.  And through it all, of course, many good things happened.  I was given time, in my son's last year of high school to really be there for all the activities and not be distracted by my work.  What had been housed under our roof at the Center, became new organizations, a lot of them, creating new activities and experiences for many, many people.  Other organizations became responsible for creating and maintaining programs to help others.  In essence, they took what we taught them and created more!  This is the essence of what our program was all about, only on a much bigger scale than we had even considered.

God was laughing, alright!  But he was also molding, shaping, and refining each one of us to do the next thing on our agendas.  From the pain and anger came such good opportunities and friendships and life!  New life!  And it was good!

The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Psalm 18:2

It's All About the Lessons Learned



I sat last night preparing for the big bowl game that my favorite college team would be playing.  I had my snacks, my drinks, my comfy clothes, the correct television station, the sound system set appropriately.  I couldn't be there in person, so I did my best to make sure this would be an enjoyable experience at home.  As the toss of the coin was taking place, I looked at the players' faces and tried to decide if they were nervous, excited, ready.  They looked good--calm, collected, confident. I was a wreck!  I had to laugh at myself and even said to those with me,  "Why am I so nervous?  You'd think I was playing tonight." 

These young men had done something no one had expected this year.  Their team had been picked to be near the bottom of the conference and after the first game of the season where we barely won against a much smaller school with far less resources, many loyal fans were prepared to write off the season.  And then something wonderful happened.  These young men began to find their combined voice.  Every week they came to the field ready...not to win the league, not to show us all...but ready to take care of that game, that particular day.  There was no tomorrow to worry about.  Their focus was only this game and making each day a little better than the day before.  And they did. 

They ended the season with ten wins and only two losses and a bowl game.  They ended the season ranked eighth in the nation.  They had given us a season of thrilling (sometimes too thrilling) games. Not bad for a team that most everyone had written off five months ago.

Why was I so nervous?  Because I wanted it for them.  They had worked so hard, given us all so much enjoyment and excitement over the season.  They earned it...every bit of it and I wanted them to have that successful conclusion to a remarkable year.  It was not meant to be.  But I hope that, in time, they will remember all that they accomplished and not what was lost.  Certainly, there are lessons in the loss, but they taught us all that the reward is not in the once a week victories.  The reward is on the field every day, trying again, learning more, being a little better each day.  Not focusing on rankings and the big prizes, but each little victory, each and every day.  And when you do that, then the big rewards will come. 

Thanks Guys, for the lessons learned!